Most important thing in raising up children?
What is the most important thing in raising up children?
There are many answers, but one of the first places on the list is fun.
Sometimes it’s really hard to mobilize to play with a toddler.
When my children were small, it was the hardest time to find time for just having fun with them.
It seemed more important to me to take a home, take an extra job, prepare dinner, or be able to read when I went out with children to the playground. It was very, very difficult for me to be with them “here and now”. What worked then? Descent to the ground floor, setting yourself on the floor, signaling readiness to play.
The easiest way was to read to them and watch books with them – we had a lot of them, some became beloved and still stand in the rooms of teenagers. Evening reading has become our family ritual for many years. I also liked board games – together we collected a lot of mushroom baskets and bred many sheep.
PLAY IT’S AN INVESTMENT
If you also find it difficult to play with your child, firstly, remember that the time when the child expects us to play together is not long. Today, this may seem like a distant prospect, but soon the child will prefer to spend time with his peers or in front of the screen.
Second, treat the time spent playing with the child as an investment (and with a high rate of return!). Fun is a way to establish a closer relationship with the child, get to know him better. In play, the child reveals his feelings, shows his way of thinking, his world. You can learn about his temperament, find out what is difficult for him, what he is living, what is happening at the kindergarten or when he stays at home under the care of his grandmother or nanny.
Thirdly, the game is a real support for the child. Playing with the doctor, the toddler has a chance to relieve the stressful moment of vaccination. Older children can overtrain various difficult situations, gain dexterity (eg learn to play football), get used to losing and waiting for their turn.
IT IS NEVER TOO LATE
Even if you have not done so before, now take care of a good time spent together with your child. Do not plan too many activities – give yourself time to roll over the floor and watch the child’s reaction.
TUNING UP TO YOUR CHILD
Remember not to “throw” at the toddler right after returning from work. A child longing after a long absence can pretend that he can not see or react with rejection. You need a gentle transition from long absence to intense fun together. Sit next to the child on the floor, look at what he’s doing, say hello to him. And then just invite you to play.
Movement games, such as “fighters”, about which we write about, should end with hugs or nails of five.
SHORT COURSE PLAYING WITH A BABY
Expecting an infant or small child to play alone is unrealistic. In the first years of life, your child really needs adults to interact and play.
You do not know how to start playing with an infant? Move to the ground floor! Sit with the child on the floor, take a ball or a book with drawings. Do you have a large exercise ball at home? Carefully place the child on it, hold it and gently rock it.
Do you remember having fun in “A ku ku”? Specialists say that it is very developing for babies! Or start with fingersticks (you probably know this one: “Cooked sour porridge”). An older baby will be eager to put blocks into the sorter or stack the tower with you.
HUMOR IS THE BASIS
Various difficult, conflicting situations can be “disarmed”, using jokes and tomfoolery instead of preaching. In our house, we sometimes speak in the name of our dog – the dog comments on reality, shares with us his observations and can sometimes express things that would be difficult to tell us directly.
You spend long hours battling together on battles, conquering a balloon, and swordfights (plastic and wooden). Sometimes these games seemed too crazy to me. Well, please – it turns out that they are very valuable!
‘Psychologist Lawrence Cohen wrote together with Anthony T. DeBenedet, an athlete and a doctor, the entire book on the subject. They encourage children to play in which there is an element of physical contact. Some of the suggestions may seem crazy to you, but … it’s also about it – about freeing energy, carefree fun, fooling, and not about arduous education of the child. You will add a lot of exaggerated reactions, fools, playing different characters and roles to the game.
There are ideas that resemble our old, somewhat forgotten movement games – “airplane”, whirling with a child held by the arm or under the armpits, climbing on the legs of an adult completed with a roll over, pillow battle.
All the best,